Why Wait? (And the Identity Shift That Changes Everything)
Published 11 months ago • 3 min read
💌From The Heart
November 30, 2025
Why Wait? (And the Identity Shift That Changes Everything)
Before you read today’s letter, I want you to pause and ask yourself:
“Why am I waiting?”
Waiting to feel better… Waiting for the perfect time… Waiting until “after the holidays”… Waiting for the New Year…
We all do this — for reasons that feel logical… but are rarely true.
Let me explain with a story that cracked something open for me last week.
🚬 “I don’t want to make a New Year’s resolution…”
A friend of mine recently told me he wanted to quit smoking — but refused to tie it to a New Year’s resolution.
He laughed and said, “Jeff, everyone fails their resolutions. I’m not setting myself up for that.”
He wasn’t wrong about the failure rate… but he was wrong about why people fail.
So I shared something with him most people never understand:
People don’t fail resolutions.
Their identity does.
Most people try to change their habits with willpower — the weakest tool in the toolbox.
Willpower is like a phone battery:
Too many apps open? Drains fast.
Poor signal? Drains faster.
Pushing harder? Burns out even quicker.
And that’s exactly what happens when someone tries to change a deeply ingrained habit using force, pressure, and “try harder” energy.
🧠 But the real reason change feels impossible? Identity.
My friend still holds the identity of:
“I am a smoker.”
So even when he tries to stop, his subconscious says:
“But that’s not who we are.”
The subconscious mind seeks consistency, not improvement. It automates habits — even harmful ones — because repetition feels like “safety.”
Smoking (or drinking… overeating… procrastinating… people-pleasing…) becomes classified as a survival pattern, even though the conscious mind knows it is destroying health.
Your brain isn’t sabotaging you. It’s protecting an outdated identity.
🪞So what did I tell him?
Every time he reaches for a cigarette, say:
“Someday I will be a non-smoker.”
Why?
Because this phrase does two powerful things:
1️⃣ It introduces a new identity without triggering resistance.
2️⃣ It begins reprogramming the subconscious through repetition + emotion.
This is how identity shifts begin — not through force, but through gradual self-recognition.
Soon, “someday” becomes:
➡️ “I’m becoming a non-smoker.”
➡️ “I am a non-smoker.”
➡️ “I don’t even think about cigarettes anymore.”
This works for any area of health:
“Someday I will be someone who sleeps deeply.”
“Someday I will be someone with balanced hormones.”
“Someday I will be someone who prioritizes myself.”
If you want to quit smoking… Lose weight… Sleep deeper… Reduce stress… Fix hormones… Rebuild energy… Or simply get answers your doctor hasn’t given you…
Looking for more support and community as you journey towards better health? Join the private Love~Energy~Wellness Community and Support group where you canfeel safe to ask questions, lend advice and encouragement, and build lasting connections.